Akatsuki: A day off
by HikariNoKotoba
Summary: Pein is away on some secret business, and gives the Akatsuki a day off... How will this end? Rated T for slight swearing.


AN: Well, this was started because i was bored. Really. It probably sucks. But please leave a review. Rated T for slight swearing.

* * *

It was a beautiful day with sunshine, and the members of the secret organization Akatsuki were all feeling happier than usual. (Except Itachi, he was as dull as always.)

Tobi were playing with his My Little Pony's, Konan was trying to learn Zetsu and Kisame how to fold a paper crane, Itachi was sitting in a chair plotting something unknown evil, Sasori and Deidara were discussing art as always, Kakuzu had tied Hidan up and forced him to listen to his new 'Save Money in the Most Effective Way Without Having to Starve Everyone'-plan, which no one else was in the mood to listen to, and Pein were away doing something very secret, or so he claimed before he went away.

"Deidara-senpai, will you play with Tobi?" The masked man said while pulling Deidara's arm and jumping up and down.

"No Tobi, be a good boy and leave me the fuck alone, go ask Weasel or something, un." The terrorist angrily sneezed at poor Tobi.

"OKAY SENPAI!" Tobi said while jumping off towards Itachi.

He sneaked up behind the sharingan-user and pulled his ponytail. Hard.

"HI ITACHI-SENPAI!! CAN YOU PLAY WITH TOBI!?!!?"

Itachi just let out a very long sigh and turned to watch the hyperactive boy.

"Well, Tobi, if I was nice I would."

"But senpai is nice!" Tobi smiled beneath his mask.

"No, I'm not, now stop disturbing me before I torture you for 72 hours in a row. Please go ask Zetsu or something. _Maybe he will do us all a favor and eat you…_" Itachi then turned his back on the poor neglected boy and continued thinking of evil stuff. Tobi, as the good boy he is, ran off to Zetsu to ask him, but before he was able to ask, another thought crossed his mind.

"TOBI WANTS COOKIES! :D" He ran off to Konan instead, and pulled her sleeve.

"Konan-chan, Tobi wants cookies!" He said in a less hyperactive voice than usual.

"Sorry Tobi, we don't have any cookies. Hidan ate them so nobody could feed them to you and make you sugar high." She smiled a bit, then corrected Kisame's very weird-looking paper crane, while the shark-man looked like a big question mark, obviously not grasping the folding-idea.

Tobi looked very sad for a moment, then he shone up a bit.

"Can't Konan-chan bake some cookies for Tobi then!?" He asked, proud over his 'brilliant' idea.

Konan looked at the boy, thought a bit, then spoke up.

"I'm sorry Tobi, I'm not really in the mood for baking today… And I have to teach these two how to make some simple origami. Why don't you go ask Sasori, maybe he can bake something?"

Tobi looked sad for a moment, and then ran off to Sasori.

"WHY BRAT, WHY would art be FLEETING!? Out of all things, FLEETING!? It's hilariously STUPID!" Sasori yelled at his blonde teammate.

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF! Art is ETERNAL, un!? What's fun with something eternal, yeah!?" The blonde snapped back.

Tobi just stood there listening to the two of them argue about their favorite subject, art.

"SHUT UP BRAT!"

"NO, YOU SHUT UP, HMM!"

The two of them started to fight, while poor Tobi just watched.

"Sasori-senpai, Tobi wants to ask you something…"

He didn't get an answer, the artists were too busy fighting to acknowledge the boy watching them.

"Sasori-senpai…"

Still no answer.

"SASORI-SENPAI, WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO TOBI!?" The masked boy screamed, on the edge of tears.

The artists stopped fighting, Sasori let go of Deidara's ponytail, and Deidara stopped trying to kick his Danna in the stomach.

"Well, what do you want, Tobi?" Sasori sighed.

Tobi became happy again when he got some attention.

"Tobi wants Sasori-senpai to bake cookies for Tobi!"

Sasori fell out of the couch he had been sitting on, L-style.

"Wha-wha-WHAT!?!?! WHO TOLD YOU TO ASK ME!?!?!"

He was very surprised, and very angry.

"Konan-chan did!" Tobi said.

Deidara had started giggling, and then broke out into a laugh.

"WHY DID SHE DO THAT!?!? SASORI OF THE RED SAND DOES **NOT **BAKE COOKIES! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED BEFORE!!!"

He continued ranting about how S-class criminals don't bake cookies and other inaudible stuff.

Deidara just laughed harder and harder.

"Hey Danna, you would look really cute baking cookies with an apron on you, un!" The bomber said between the laugh attacks.

"STFU BRAT!!!!" Sasori screamed at the former Iwa-nin.

Konan came walking over to them and asked what was up with Sasori, who was now rolling on the floor in anger.

"He doesn't fully agree to the whole 'cookie-idea'…" Deidara said when he had calmed down somewhat.

Now all the other Akatsuki-members came over to them, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Konan explained the situation to them.

"Well, to bake costs money. Money is not to be wasted on such unnecessary things as cookies. And nothing good comes out of it anyways, just a sugar high Tobi that no one wants." Kakuzu said, and then began ranting about if they bought a packet of cookies every week in a year, it would add up to blah, blah, blah…

Tobi began crying when he understood that he would not get cookies, and Hidan fell over laughing at Sasori's behavior.

"I don't think that Sasori will ever be the same again after this incredible humiliation…" Kisame said while shaking his head at Sasori.

They continued discussing how bad Sasori's pride could have been damaged, until Pein appeared as a hologram on the middle of the floor.

Everybody quieted down, and turned their attention towards their leader.

"_Good day, people. Have you managed to not tear down the whole base while I was gone?"_

Konan nodded. "Yes Pein-sama, the base is still intact."

Pein's hologram nodded.

"_Good, Konan. I knew I could trust you to take care of the others. Well, on to the point… What? Why are Sasori and Hidan lying on the floor, and why are Tobi crying? What happened now?" _ He asked with slight irritation in his voice.

Konan spoke up again.

"Well, we are just having some slight difficulties with Tobi's cookie demands…"

Pein sighed.

"_I don't wanna know… Well, the reason I called to this little meeting is that I am currently stuck in my very secret business, and I wont be back for at least another week, so I wanted to tell you that I have decided to put this years vacation-day today… go have fun or something. The costs are on the organization. Meeting dismissed."_

With that the hologram disappeared and the room fell quiet.

Kakuzu started crying because of all the money that would be spent on having _fun_, something completely unnecessary if you asked him.

* * *

So the criminals sat down in the living room and started discussing what they would do on their only day off.

"I think we should go to an art-museum, un!" Deidara said, with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"No Deidara, we are not going there after you accidentally blew the place up, wanting to show them 'real' art…" Zetsu stated.

The bomber looked very disappointed.

"Can't we go to Seaworld or something?" Kisame said in a cheery voice.

Itachi sighed.

"No, we aren't going there after the little 'incident' where you tried to free all the fishes while screaming that they were friends, and should not be kept as pets…" Itachi shuddered at the memory.

Kisame pouted.

Kakuzu had finally calmed down a bit, and now spoke up.

"Well, we could go do some missio-"

"NO!!!" Everybody screamed in unison, cutting the man off.

Tobi, who had been unusually quiet and still during their little meeting, now decided to share his idea.

"There is an amusement park in town, Tobi would love to go there!"

He started jumping up and down.

"Hmm… I haven't been to one since I was a child, it would actually be really funny to go there…" Konan stated.

Hidan sighed.

"Fine for me…"

"Yup."

"Okay…"

They all nodded, and decided on Tobi's idea.

"Yay, finally we are going to do Tobi's idea!!!" Tobi said with a big smile.

So everyone got their stuff and got ready to spend the day at the amusement park…

* * *

"Wow, this place is larger than I thought it would be, un!" Deidara looked around in awe.

They had just got in and bought their tickets, and now they had stopped and were deciding where they should go next.

It was a fairly large place, with lots of different rides and games around.

"Well, I suggest that we split up into groups, if we move around all together we would just lose someone." Konan said.

She then split them up into three groups: Deidara, Hidan and herself, Kisame, Sasori and Zetsu, and Kakuzu, Itachi and Tobi.

Konan walked over to Itachi.

"Now be sure to be nice to Tobi, take him anywhere he wants to go, and DON'T hurt him. Understood?"

Itachi looked a little shocked, but nodded.

"If you are nice to Tobi and behave well, I'll make you some dango when we get home, okay?" Konan smiled at the Uchiha.

Itachi's mouth started watering when she mentioned dango, and he eagerly nodded.

"Good. Now, be off, and we'll meet here after four hours!"

All groups ran off in different directions.

* * *

"Oi, Blondie, you wanna go for a ride in that?" Hidan poked Deidara in the side, and when he got the blonde's attention he pointed to a big rollercoaster with many loops and twists and turns that seemed impossible to survive.

Deidara immediately paled.

"Ehrm, hehe, I don't think that would be a very good idea, hmm, I've just eaten and well, yeah…" Deidara looked **very **nervous.

"Aww, come on Blondie, are you such a fucking pussy!?" Hidan laughed and poked Deidara with his elbow.

"AM NOT, UN!!!" Deidara screamed at the silver-haired man.

"Well, you wanna ride it or not?" Hidan asked teasingly, once again poking Deidara in the side.

"Stop that, hmm! And okay, if it means so very much to you, then I'll ride it, un!" Deidara snapped at Hidan.

"Thank you very fuckin' much!" Hidan laughed, poked the blonde in the side, ignoring Deidara's order of him stopping, and then pulled Deidara towards the line for the ride.

"Konan-chan, you wanna ride with us?" The Jashinist called towards the blue-haired woman.

She smiled, and came running after them.

She was actually a really daring girl, and loved to ride things that made others lose their lunch.

* * *

"Hurry up, Sasori!" Kisame called from his position besides Zetsu in the line of one of those big things when you go really high up in the air, and then gets 'dropped' down.

Sasori had sulked after a bit, not really caring much about the whole thing.

He catched up with them, and stood next to them, not really looking up to see what he had placed himself in line for.

The line disappeared quickly, and soon it was their turn.

Sasori was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice what he had placed himself on before it started to move slowly upwards.

"Um, Sasori? Are you awake?" Kisame said.

"Yes, I'm pretty much awake. What does this thing do exactly?" Sasori asked the shark-man.

Kisame had a face that looked like this: O___O

"Ehrm, Sasori, you should think a bit before you put yourself on unknown things. Look down." Kisame said with a low voice.

Sasori looked down. Only to see that all buildings and people were **very **small. And then he looked up. The he looked down again.

The chairs stopped when they were as high up as they could get.

Then the brave puppet master of Suna panicked.

"KISAME! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY WHAT WE WERE ON!!!! YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE SEVERE ACROPHOBIA!!!" He screamed at the poor shark-man.

"Well, I thought that you had you had gotten over your acrophobia because you allowed us to drag you onto this!" Kisame said.

Sasori just looked at Kisame.

"KISAME, I AM GOING TO KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-" Sasori screamed as he fell to what he what he thought would be his death.

Kisame and Zetsu just laughed.

The chairs stopped when they were down, and Kisame and Zetsu led a **very** shaky Sasori out, and placed him on a bench.

"I-i-is it o-over?" Sasori stuttered.

Kisame just laughed, and then went away to buy some Pocky.

* * *

"Tobi wants to play that game, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said and pointed to a game where you threw baseballs to knock over empty bottles, winning stuffed animals.

Kakuzu shuddered; it was **expensive **to play those games!

"Fine, but only 'till you win a price, okay?" Itachi said, and paid the girl behind the counter, and was given three balls in return.

Itachi gave the balls to Tobi, and tried to tell him that he should knock over the bottles. He hoped that Tobi's minimal brain could understand.

"Tobi understands, senpai! Tobi will win that big weasel over there!" Tobi said, and pointed to a huge stuffed weasel toy.

Tobi aimed at the bottles.

"Here comes TOBI!!!" He said, and threw the ball.

He knocked down all bottles, and the girl behind the counter gasped.

"Congratulations, you win the first price, little boy!" She happily said and took down the stuffed weasel and shoved it in the arms of Tobi.

Tobi jumped up and down.

"Yay!! Tobi won!! Is senpai proud of Tobi?" he asked and watched Itachi and Kakuzu.

"Yes, we are very proud of Tobi… So, what will you name it?" Kakuzu asked.

Tobi pondered a long time.

"Tobi thinks Tobi will name it…

Itachi-tan!"

* * *

"Are you scared, Blondie?" Hidan asked as they were sitting in the rollercoaster.

"FUCK NO, UN!" The bomber screamed at the snickering Jashinist.

Konan sighed.

"Calm down, boys. We are almost up…"

Deidara immediately paled, and sunk so far back into the seat as he could from his position between Konan and Hidan.

The rollercoaster stopped at the top of a very big 'hill'.

"Let me get off." Deidara calmly said.

Konan looked at him with worried eyes.

"Deidei, you can't get off now…"

Deidara took a deep breath.

"Let. Me. Get. Off."

But he couldn't say anything more, because in the next second they were going down the 'hill' and up into a loop, in a very high speed.

"IM GOING TO DIE!!! GYAAAAAHHH!!" Deidara screamed as high as he could, and held onto Hidan's arm as if his life depended on it.

Konan and Hidan just laughed as they went into loops and upside down and stuff.

Eventually the ride ended, and they stopped.

"WHOO! Let's go again!!!" Konan said when she had gotten out of the car-thing, but silenced when she saw a shivering Deidara locked onto Hidan's arm.

Hidan looked very confused.

"Ehrm, Blondie, you can let go of my arm now…"

Deidara just stared in front of himself and did not listen.

"Blondie? Are you fuckin' home?" Hidan waved his free hand in front of the bomber's face.

No response.

Hidan stood up and dragged Deidara with him out to a bench and sat down with the blonde still locked onto his arm.

Konan just stood in front of them and stared.

After ten minutes Deidara started to show signs of consciousness again, and when he was 'alive' enough to think he quickly let go of Hidan's arm and scooted over to the other side of the bench.

"H-h-hey!! Why did I hold your arm!?" He stuttered.

Hidan just looked at Deidara and then he and Konan broke out into a laugh attack.

"You were fucking latched onto my arm the whole damn time!!!" Hidan said between the laugh attacks.

Konan laughed and showed Deidara her camera, which she had had with her on the ride.

It was a picture of Hidan laughing, and a terrified Deidara holding onto the Jashinist's arm, with tears glistering in his eyes.

"Are you fuckin' sure that you're not scared even a little bit?" Hidan said.

Deidara blushed, and went to snatch the camera from Konan.

She easily dodged him, and put her camera inside her cloak.

Not even Deidara would do something **that **ugly to get a camera.

* * *

The day quickly passed, and they met up at the point decided.

"Did everyone have fun?" Konan asked.

"More or less…" Zetsu said with a tired voice, still dragging a very weird-acting Sasori behind him.

Konan smiled.

"Well then, let's go home!"

They walked all the way home, and took turns to drag Sasori.

"Ahh… Home sweet secret base…" Kakuzu let out when he collapsed on the couch.

He sat there for ten minutes, and then hurried into his room to calculate how much money was used and how much work it would take to regain it.

"It was a great day, ne?" Kisame said as he sat down on one of the black couches in the living room.

"Tobi won Itachi-tan!!!" Tobi said and held up his giant stuffed weasel.

Itachi sank down into his seat and sweatdropped.

Everyone broke out into laughter, and Itachi paled even more.

"I don't look **that **much like a weasel…" He mumbled.

Konan looked out from the kitchen at her boys, and smiled.

She really felt like a mother…

She then returned to the task of making dango for Itachi.

"Well, exactly what happened to Sasori-Danna, un?" Deidara said and looked curiously at his Danna.

Zetsu poked Sasori's head.

"Well, Kisame and I was going to ride the big tower-drop-thing, and told Sasori to hurry up and put himself in line for it. Since he did not object, we thought that he had gotten over his acrophobia… And then things went as they went." He said with an excusing voice.

Deidara's eyes widened. He then went over to his Danna and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

Sasori immediately blushed crimson red and regained his consciousness.

"Whe-where am I?" He asked, very confused.

Hidan laughed.

"Your fuckin' acrophobia got to ya!"

Sasori then remembered everything.

"I think I have to take a nap…" He said tiredly, and then passed out.

Deidara sighed, and pulled up Itachi to help him carry the unconscious puppet into his and Deidara's room.

When they were back, they sat back down on the black couches.

"Well, apart from minor psychological injuries, this was a pretty nice day." Konan said when she returned with Itachi's dango.

Everybody nodded.

They were really worn out; it had been a tough day. Somehow it was nice to just deal with this once a year.

And going to the amusement park had brought a certain amount of weariness upon the group. But they were thankful they did not go to the zoo. They did that once. And it did NOT bring any funny consequences.

Tobi raised his hand.

"Ehrm… Yes Tobi, you can speak, un?" Deidara said, and stared at the boy.

Tobi smiled. (He always does…)

"Tobi has an idea of what we could do next year!!!"

"Yes Tobi, what?" Itachi said.

"We could go to the ZOO!!!" The boy screamed.

The other members passed out at the thought of going through THAT again. Apparently people did not like lions running around free…

_End._

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto.

Fic © Me.


End file.
